Friday, July 31, 2009

"Confessions Of A Hyperactive Commitment Phobic!!"

The thing with love is that it’s a rather stupid thing. We invariably fool ourselves into believing that we can be the exception and not the rule. I’ve been single for so long that I think I’ll need therapy just to get over the guilt. Waiting for the right one to walk up to me someday. Well I’m 22, single and no the right one hasn’t evidently walked past me. I have, however had many false alarms.
The really funny thing about it is that I’m a woman and women are suppose to have good instincts…well maybe not all women. I qualify as an exception. My instincts are such that every time I feel strongly about something or somebody, it turns around and bites me in the butt. Hence, I have decided that the next time I feel strongly about a guy and my gut feels evermore, I will turn around and run 100 miles in the opposite direction.
I deserve to be happy, I think. I’m not all that a bad person, really. Then why is it that if I see or meet a healthy, good looking, straight, intelligent man I want to curl up and die? I want to be swallowed by mother earth or struck by lightening. Not like all guys I meet hit on me or anything but just the general concept that men today follow-

SINGLE = AVAILABLE = SEX

I mean get real! It is after all a human need and women need it more than men do. You see, for women its all about unadulterated pleasure but for men, its more about spilling their “beans” etc. it is true that men spend more time fantasizing about it and woman just want to get over with it.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to be with a man for good. The thought of sharing my space with a man seems rather terrifying for some strange reason.
Seems like my Love Santa keeps getting stuck in the chimney all the time. As if that wasn’t problematic enough I’m an old school romance kinda girl. I want it all, the whole nine yards. I’m yet to meet a man who thinks that way as well. I don’t want to share bedrooms with the guy, I don’t want to share my dark chocolate truffle either. I don’t mind snuggling up and watching tv as long as the fight for the remote is not a constant war.
Simple girls have simple wants…I’ve got simpler ones…

1. A man who can spot China on the map.
2. Can spell amalgamation.
3. Knows who John Keats or Russell Peters is and is well aware of the difference.
4. Can sing a line or two from a Dean Martin or Frank Sinatra.

Well these are just a few to start with. But, they are important ones. I think. One thing however would be mandatory… he has to love the beach and traveling. See now that’s a lethal combination hence, almost impossible to find and therefore doesn’t exist. Probably, also the reason behind me being 22 and single.

My feelings are like a bowl of fish hooks, if I pull out one all of them come out at the same time. It could be the reason why I am a commitment phobic. It’s difficult to be wit a man who is trustworthy. Its like you give a man a free hand and he runs it all over you.

HORMONES ARE STUPID YET VERY POWERFUL THINGS, WE’RE HELPLESS IN THEIR AWAKE!!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

"Man On The Hospital Window"

I got introduced to her today. I knew she was there in some strange corner of the world, waiting in anticipation for me to arrive. When I walked into the hospital earlier today. I knew I'd see her. Something told me, she wasn't very far away.
The butterflies in my stomach which I thought were long gone reappeared from nowhere, as if to remind me of my anticipation of what was to come. The elevator ride like the stairway to heaven. I was there, I was ready. But, I wondered while I waited to see that nice man, what was taking so long? That nice man who I'd learnt to like from the past few visits.
Walking into the man's office dint feel the same and that's what gave it away. I knew he had news for me from his tone on the telephone call early this morning. I knew she had finally arrived for me. I could hardly wait for the good new to anymore but, the doctor seemed to have an agenda of his own. I had waited so long now I thought a few, more minutes won’t hurt, would it?
So, there I was in the hospital clothes, with rear end on view, yet ready as a man could ever be to hear the words drop out of his mouth. The suspense was getting fierce, the tension was building and then, just like that, there she was. All these years, I had planned, plotted and thought over all the intelligent things I wanted to say to her when we first met. Here, she was and I had nothing to say but smile emptily but, fulfilled.
The moment had passed for me to say and for her to hear. I had retired to my new residence now. Small and precise, even boring to some but, for me it was rendezvous point. We were here and she finally spoke...

"Where were you? I've been waiting so long?"
She looked so hopeful and demanding. I knew she wanted answers and today she was going to get them.
"I left you many hints!" she said.
Oh! If only she knew how those subtle hints led me to her, if only she knew, what it felt like to finally be with her, to be able to embrace her and live till death do us part. She was my companion, I knew, the one I had asked for forever.

So I wrote to her…

"Dear Cancer,
For all those times when I knew that you were waiting with arms wide open, for all those times when I knew, you wouldn't have sympathy but genuine love for me, for all those times where you stood by me. I thank you with all my heart. I want you to know that I picked up all the subtle hints that left me, because I knew you weren't far behind. I'm sorry for taking this long. But, now that I'm here with you, I feel complete.
Thank you for taking me on journeys far and beyond. Thank you for trying to make it as painless as you possibly could. I know deep in my heart you tried.
You are and will always be my cherished one.

With all my love,
Man on the hospital window."


P:s- i write this for you...dear friend...you know who you are,thanks for pushing me into the one best thing i know how to do...