My Blueberry Nights

2010-09-13T02:57:00.000-07:00

We're back to the beginning
no one knows yet
you'll come back when I call you
no need to say goodbye
my heart is just plain silly
only it knows what it thinks
your head is full, your lips are empty
dreams die hard
and like everything else...
turn to dust!

"1ST RAIN BACK HOME"

2010-09-13T02:28:00.000-07:00

A rain that is so alien
A storm that addresses my welcoming
A thunder that announces my arrival
A land that that is so unfamiliar with all its familiarities
A gulmohar tree that's as orange as orange itself
A dew that has awaited my return
A window that breathes now that i'm here
A swing that's not alone anymore
this is my new home...
or is it trying hard to be?
my new home..away from home!

"Randomness at its best!"

2010-06-29T15:32:00.000-07:00

What should I call you?
My madness or my obsession!
the antidote or the venom!
my heart is sinking
a few feet deeper everyday.
When everything is freshly begun,
why aren't my bygones gone?
My memories haunt me...
Your memories are murderous...
Our memories are devastating.
Why am I still bearing this wrath?
Am I angry or just sad,
aren't they the same emotion?
am I constrained or set free
a decision I have come to take
that will change my life.
Why have I become your cardinal sin?
when I was your blessing?
what treasure did you unearth,
that you see no worth in me?
Why couldn't you be a friend,
that I was to you?
Why dint you understand,
all that was simply understood?
What made you think
that we were an exception
and not the oldest rule!!

random thoughts

2010-06-25T14:12:00.000-07:00

I think of you when I got to bed,
I think of you when I wake up
I don't miss you because I feel so dead
and I'm becoming quite the lier
I have a broken heart
one, I try everyday to mend
each day carries on and on
few,where I see no end.
Sometimes I stand and wonder
if it was all a dream
it ended as quickly as it begun
no rain, no warning...just the thunder
I stood there and watched my life in a flash
I surely must be dead
seeing my dreams and love go up in an ash.
Why did I depend so much upon you?
Why did I let you make me cry?
Why dint I see this coming?
Even though I knew all the why's!
You led me into this
you tried leading me out
it was well practiced with you
but you left me with a million doubts.
I walked away from you
which was the toughest part
I dint give up for so long
just quietly picked up pieces of my heart.
You walked with me till the very end
it was a journey to remember
I was left behind with a mind and soul
which had nothing to lend
Now I stand on a different horizon
as I try to take baby steps
to a life less ordinary
and to a new days dawn.
I'll remember you always
for being you and more
I'll cherish you and our memories
for as long as the water in my life holds.

"THE SECOND SEX"

2010-02-06T00:04:00.000-08:00

I have been living in this city for a long time now. Though I have been in and out of it lately. What do you do when the people who are meant to protect you are the ones you're trying to save yourself from? I'm an adult,capable and healthy woman. Aware of the power I have and must better acquainted with my short comings. Need I be reminded every now and then by these vultures of society that I am the "Second Sex"? Of coarse, not. Being harassed by the cops on the roads,who are invariably intoxicated is not my idea of protection.I'm am the 21st century woman, and no I'm not apologetic about it. Why is it that our law,which is actually meant to "protect" us is proactively trying to push us back into the "saas bhi kabhi bahu thi" dynasty?
Who decides my late nights?who decides what I should wear? Who decides how i sit in the car? Who decides who I decide to do all the above with? Is it so difficult to practice my rights as a woman in this country. A country,the last time I checked was a free one. My clothes are my way of expressing myself,hence self expression...who put such a high price at being typical? I'm not going to succumb to the humiliation every single time I'm out late in the night. I thought I belonged to a society where women were given the utmost respect,after what i witnessed...i really don't think so.
Last night I was returning from a dinner with a friend in his car. It was then when we were stopped by two cops in the midst Koramangla 1st block road. The cops spoke to us like we were criminals and asked my friend to show his id cards and car papers. To us it was a regular check so, we willfully obliged. It was alright till one of the cops said, in Kannada that he could smell semen. I was taken a back when i first heard it,but then I dismissed all notions of him saying so. Then he said it again,and this time my friend who was being humble all this while heard it as well. He turned around and asked a little aggressively to the cop to repeat himself. But, the cops kept quite. After asking my friend all sort of details about him and me,he let us go.
Was it justified, am i being questioned about my ability to take care of myself? Is it fair to look at a girl like she is cheap trash since she is with boy at a particularly late time of the night. Is my dignity at stake here? Why do I have to compromise on my life just because some cops are out there to have a good time and make an extra buck or two. I can not be held responsible if these vultures of law are out there...or so it seems. Which direction do I turn to as the "weaker sex" for help? Why is it that its taken for grated that if I am with a guy late in the night,its has to be for sex? could I not be somewhere else,coming late from work,getting back from hospital,any other reason!!Late night with a single girl and boy does not equate to sex. This concept is not so alien to understand after all now is it!
Are we being targeted here? As if fighting all the odds, hasn't been enough, now we have this to deal with! I appreciate the "concern" Indian government has for us, but this has got to stop somewhere. Why are we being made a victim of moral policing? Are we not capable enough to take care of such things ourselves. Have we become slaves to typo's or is the system simply insulting our intelligence? Is this kind of underestimation right on their part?
I'm appalled...its time we do something about this!!

"A CAUTIOUS LOVE STORY"

2009-10-11T12:02:00.000-07:00

We were best friends,or so we thought,
stating facts out loud,
less to anybody, more to ourselves.
We were convinced, its never going to work.
Telling each other, its a phase.
it was a cautious love story.

Without colouring me in his colours,
without getting coloured in mine.
We drowned into each other.
Lets not do this...we said said, it was
a cautious love story.

'You' stay you, 'I' stay me
and 'we' stay 'us'
but, lets all three walk together
to journeys far & beyond,
a cautious love story.

You are the voice of my silence
i am the words that fall from you
this is a secret of ours
lets just explore you and me
a cautious love story.

A tear that leaves yours eyes,
drops out of mine,
every happiness small or big
its been you, me & us!
a cautious love story.

Lets live like this...
with our inconveniant truth
feeling scared and helpless,
but,our facts intact.
Our cautious love story...
a regret for a life time.

"Confessions Of A Hyperactive Commitment Phobic!!"

2009-07-31T09:30:00.000-07:00

The thing with love is that it’s a rather stupid thing. We invariably fool ourselves into believing that we can be the exception and not the rule. I’ve been single for so long that I think I’ll need therapy just to get over the guilt. Waiting for the right one to walk up to me someday. Well I’m 22, single and no the right one hasn’t evidently walked past me. I have, however had many false alarms.
The really funny thing about it is that I’m a woman and women are suppose to have good instincts…well maybe not all women. I qualify as an exception. My instincts are such that every time I feel strongly about something or somebody, it turns around and bites me in the butt. Hence, I have decided that the next time I feel strongly about a guy and my gut feels evermore, I will turn around and run 100 miles in the opposite direction.
I deserve to be happy, I think. I’m not all that a bad person, really. Then why is it that if I see or meet a healthy, good looking, straight, intelligent man I want to curl up and die? I want to be swallowed by mother earth or struck by lightening. Not like all guys I meet hit on me or anything but just the general concept that men today follow-

SINGLE = AVAILABLE = SEX

I mean get real! It is after all a human need and women need it more than men do. You see, for women its all about unadulterated pleasure but for men, its more about spilling their “beans” etc. it is true that men spend more time fantasizing about it and woman just want to get over with it.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to be with a man for good. The thought of sharing my space with a man seems rather terrifying for some strange reason.
Seems like my Love Santa keeps getting stuck in the chimney all the time. As if that wasn’t problematic enough I’m an old school romance kinda girl. I want it all, the whole nine yards. I’m yet to meet a man who thinks that way as well. I don’t want to share bedrooms with the guy, I don’t want to share my dark chocolate truffle either. I don’t mind snuggling up and watching tv as long as the fight for the remote is not a constant war.
Simple girls have simple wants…I’ve got simpler ones…

1. A man who can spot China on the map.
2. Can spell amalgamation.
3. Knows who John Keats or Russell Peters is and is well aware of the difference.
4. Can sing a line or two from a Dean Martin or Frank Sinatra.

Well these are just a few to start with. But, they are important ones. I think. One thing however would be mandatory… he has to love the beach and traveling. See now that’s a lethal combination hence, almost impossible to find and therefore doesn’t exist. Probably, also the reason behind me being 22 and single.

My feelings are like a bowl of fish hooks, if I pull out one all of them come out at the same time. It could be the reason why I am a commitment phobic. It’s difficult to be wit a man who is trustworthy. Its like you give a man a free hand and he runs it all over you.

HORMONES ARE STUPID YET VERY POWERFUL THINGS, WE’RE HELPLESS IN THEIR AWAKE!!

"Man On The Hospital Window"

2009-07-29T09:39:00.001-07:00

I got introduced to her today. I knew she was there in some strange corner of the world, waiting in anticipation for me to arrive. When I walked into the hospital earlier today. I knew I'd see her. Something told me, she wasn't very far away.
The butterflies in my stomach which I thought were long gone reappeared from nowhere, as if to remind me of my anticipation of what was to come. The elevator ride like the stairway to heaven. I was there, I was ready. But, I wondered while I waited to see that nice man, what was taking so long? That nice man who I'd learnt to like from the past few visits.
Walking into the man's office dint feel the same and that's what gave it away. I knew he had news for me from his tone on the telephone call early this morning. I knew she had finally arrived for me. I could hardly wait for the good new to anymore but, the doctor seemed to have an agenda of his own. I had waited so long now I thought a few, more minutes won’t hurt, would it?
So, there I was in the hospital clothes, with rear end on view, yet ready as a man could ever be to hear the words drop out of his mouth. The suspense was getting fierce, the tension was building and then, just like that, there she was. All these years, I had planned, plotted and thought over all the intelligent things I wanted to say to her when we first met. Here, she was and I had nothing to say but smile emptily but, fulfilled.
The moment had passed for me to say and for her to hear. I had retired to my new residence now. Small and precise, even boring to some but, for me it was rendezvous point. We were here and she finally spoke...

"Where were you? I've been waiting so long?"
She looked so hopeful and demanding. I knew she wanted answers and today she was going to get them.
"I left you many hints!" she said.
Oh! If only she knew how those subtle hints led me to her, if only she knew, what it felt like to finally be with her, to be able to embrace her and live till death do us part. She was my companion, I knew, the one I had asked for forever.

So I wrote to her…

"Dear Cancer,
For all those times when I knew that you were waiting with arms wide open, for all those times when I knew, you wouldn't have sympathy but genuine love for me, for all those times where you stood by me. I thank you with all my heart. I want you to know that I picked up all the subtle hints that left me, because I knew you weren't far behind. I'm sorry for taking this long. But, now that I'm here with you, I feel complete.
Thank you for taking me on journeys far and beyond. Thank you for trying to make it as painless as you possibly could. I know deep in my heart you tried.
You are and will always be my cherished one.

With all my love,
Man on the hospital window."

P:s- i write this for you...dear friend...you know who you are,thanks for pushing me into the one best thing i know how to do...

"The World Is My Oyster"

2008-10-30T14:39:00.000-07:00

The world is your oyster…the difference of perception is a joyous thing…life can be beautiful if that’s what you want from it. The choice is always yours. You either make it or break it. But, the decision is entirely yours to take. What help’s is stepping out of character…looking at yourself from a different point of view. Here you suddenly realize that life isn’t what you thought it would be. Maybe it turned out a lot better than what you had planned or imagined or maybe it tuned out to be a complete wreck. The beauty of it is that you need to make those decisions and never regret and learn to move on. Life isn’t as harsh or hard as we make it but it can be more fun if we just stick to the choice we made initially.
It’s even easier to blame someone else for your mistakes, it’s never your fault but the pedestrian just crossed the road without being cautious and crossed a six lane road and banged into your car….its never your fault. If you want to look at things from this angle then your more then welcome to do so but the point is that you’ve allowed it to happen, and since life isn’t as kind to us the lesser mortals we need to make better and wiser choices. Opportunity doesn’t knock your door once….it knocks till you are ready to get off your butt and open it. But if you choose to open it and ask it to leave then it is entirely your decision to make. There are always three ways to do something….
1: doing the right thing. The thing everybody else has done has been doing and will always do since it is the right thing to do. I personally feel that these are the kinds who are the boring ones. Who in spite of getting ample opportunity refuse to use their full potential just because they do the right thing? That everybody has always done.

2: doing the wrong thing. The things that nobody will ever do since it is the worst possible alternative to problem but there are a few less blessed people like me who go ahead and take this measure hoping that things are going to be different only because…you are the person in question. Then realization beckons and you realize life isn’t all about ha ha he he… however, sometimes this one thing blowing into your face is the best thing to happen since you know exactly what not to do the next time. That’s just being very positive about it.

3: doing the things that no one has done so far. Making the best of what you have and using it to its full advantage. This is officially my way of dealing with things…or at least try doing it this way…it’s the way you want to do things!! Right or wrong is irrespective here, as long as you understand what the best thing to do and do it. Why bother about what people might say, they’re people and they always say…whether you like it or not so is it worth it to waste time and effort on such wrecks?

Find your joy in everything you do…make peace with yourself! You’ll suddenly realize life’s isn’t a bitch at all….

'THERE ARE DAYS!!"

2008-09-01T13:56:00.000-07:00

There are days,
when getting out of bed,
is the biggest challenge I face!!
There are days,
when I sit among...
A massive pile of clothes,
wondering why do I have so many clothes?
There are days,
when open my eyes,
to a big fat golden dog,
fast asleep on my bed!!!
There are days,
when I listen to one song,
on toggle repeat,
the entire night!!!!
There are days,
I wake up angry,
with the world for no reason!!
There are days when,
I wait for somebody,
to call and make me a part of their life!!
There are days,
when I walk into home,
and feel like I know,
nobody!!!
there are days,
I can't explain...
there are days,
that bestow a new epiphany...
guess what...
they are after all just days...
some good,
some bad,
some pathetic...some fantastic...
try explaining them to yourself...
you'll have your own epiphany!!

"TIME! WHERE DID YOU GO?"

2008-07-02T06:01:00.000-07:00

Lollipop and chocolate candy stuck in my teeth
dancing and the skipping rope keep me on my feet
cycle races down empty roads
falling in gutters and dirtying nice clothes.

Grow up grow up,leave those childish things behind
its time to grow the spirit,soul and mind
grow up grow,tomorrow's another day
you know your adult is here to stay.

Stars still twinkle,water fights are fun
my heart still soars in the warm summer sun
i still want to play house and drink pretend tea
and maybe prince charming will marry me.

Hearty laugh and desperate tears come and go
as do clothes,shoes and tv shows
miracles and thunderstorm do fascinate
its a perpetual childhood state.

Feeling all alone and holding hands
falling down and waking up
from a dream gone bad
on a cloudy day
your adult is here to stay.

"EPIPHANY"

2008-06-30T15:32:00.000-07:00

The strangest things can happen when it’s least expect it. Life gives no surety of any kind yet there is something so magical about it. The choices it can throw at you when you’re not ready to choose. The decision is always in one’s hand. You either take the right decision or the wrong decision. Here lies my question, who decides if the choice made was right or wrong? God’s got one hell of a sense of humour, he manages to give one those choices and then sit and watch!! The irony of it all is that one always knows what kind of result to expect. Knowing it only makes things worse and confusing then they already are.

The word “end” comes with other ghastly words like “bitter” or “cold”, it’s rather silly but I think that these words are the last in my vocabulary especially in association with the word “end”. I believe that the end is merely a beginning. Why end it anything, why not begin everything? There is an epiphany here; a proverb “call it a day”, there is something about it which fits the “ends” so well. Imagine having a really bad day and wrapping it up beautifully just by saying “I’m calling it a day!!”

I’ve understood very lately that it’s not the big things in life that give me “my joy”, but the small ones. Love is in the details and it’s not everyday that one uses this word genuinely and not push it around. If the little things are taken care of, the big ones are automatically taken care of. If one has a mind set of sorts and refuses to see the little pretty things, there is no way they’ll see the bigger picture. “Joys” are of many kinds and hold certain significance in one’s life. For me, the very essence of life gives me joy; the sweet little nothings give me joy!! I’ve learnt a new thing; it’s these little joys that are the building blocks of life (irrespective of what the science guys have to say). One’s “joy” is one’s very own hands! A thing of beauty will always be a joy forever!!!

One of my dear friends once said “the earth doesn’t stop moving does it? So, why should you?” as strange as it may sound, this is one of the biggest eye openers I’ve had in ages!! We’re human, we err!! It’s a tendency, we all make mistakes and that’s how we learn. But how many mistakes are allowed to make? Is there a definite number to it? “Move on”… word that holds so much continuity, yet today it means different thing. Does it mean to move on from the present state of life to a completely new one or does it mean to continue in the same situation?

I’ve had the pleasure of walking around my beloved city with a camera and have captured so many faces now, I feel like I know them all. There is a connection that I have with them, every single one…one of its kinds!! A picture has a million things to say, somebody just needs to hear.

"LOVE ACTUALLY IS....EVERYWHERE!!"

"CAN THIS BE REAL"

2008-06-03T06:48:00.000-07:00

I close my eyes,
can't believe how much i can see...
Can this be real?
So much love that's in front of me...
a dream is a wish,
a desire so real...
and the faking of it to!
Having it all for a moment,
and nothing in the next!!
Can this be real?

"HOW..."

2008-06-03T05:49:00.000-07:00

Rolling stones gather no moss,
HOW long am i to roll?
my life's on a standstill...
a situation where I'm standing yet paying a toll
HOW easy it is to get
accustomed to...
people..things...places?
Old habits die hard..
old dreams even harder!!
HOW is it that i get attached?
i trust so easily....
either i am naive or just stupid!!
I don't know yet...
i smile with all my might,
laugh at everything in sight...
I'm loosing strength...
HOW much more can i do?
now the time has come
to grow up and leave
everything familiar and naive.
DAMN!!HOW...HOW am i going to do all this?
i like this,i like now...
but how long...how long?

"HE...."

2008-03-29T12:47:00.000-07:00

He had a charm,
he had a style,
he had that something...
he had it all that brought me a smile.
He strung a chord,
the very first time,
unknown as he was,
there was something mine.
He made me feel precious,
he made me feel wanted,
he gave me a feeling so glorious,
he gave me love that was potent.
He heard my non stop babble,
he always said he understood,
my words which were stones and pebbles,
were better with him but with me they never could.
He made everybody love him more,
my friends,my family,my dog,
teasing me with his well kept scores,
he was one proud hog!!
He was a man to the world,
he was a baby to me,
to him, i am his thing of beauty...
and his joy forever!!

"MANY A TIMES!!"

2008-03-29T12:38:00.000-07:00

i have travelled these roads,
many a times,
walked passed these trees,
many a times,
they know me.
they are as much a part of me,
as i am of them.
this night talks to me,
like many have done before.
the sunkissed leaves,
bid me farewell!!
these roads understand me...
understand the turmoil inside.
something in the wind knows,
the way i feel...
but refuses to tell me a thing.
this city gave me so much,
took away so much.
i want to give it back something,
but something that's my own.
home is where the heart is...
mine is right here!!
this will always be...my home,
bangalore...a place i call home!!

"Life's Good"

2008-03-13T12:09:00.000-07:00

Rainbow in my jail cell,
a sea of madness,
castles in the sky,
you can run around,
always on my mind,
some die without...
without having really lived,
and some live...
in spite of being dead.
every story has an end,
but life's the other way round,
here....
every end has a new beginning!!
circles in the sand,
message in a bottle...
where do you go from here?
i've had the time of my life,
saving the best for last!!!

"I Fail To Understand!"

2008-03-13T11:45:00.000-07:00

I fail to understand,
the colours of life.
I fail to understand,
the idea of success.
I fail to understand,
the meaning of love.
I fail to understand,
the conjunctions of life.
I fail to understand,
the logic of commitment.
I fail to understand,
the way people love me.
i fail to understand,
what people love in me??
I fail to understand,
the species better known as "man."
I fail to understand,
the meaning of professionalism.
I fail to understand,
the difference between opportunity and exploitation.
I fail to understand,
why the sky is so blue??
I fail to understand,
the charm of smoking.
I fail to understand,
addictions of sorts.
i fail to understand,
how i enjoy being alive so much??

" IF I "

2008-01-12T12:30:00.000-08:00

"Love is blind"
or so said shakespeare.
If he hears my end of the ordeal,
he'll turn in his grave!!
If i...could turn yesterday back around,
since i know how i feel
about you now.

I have a choice though,
and the decision is mine...
I stay or i leave!
If i stay...i perform!!
a performance of a lifetime!
If i leave... i leave for good!!

If i could turn back time,undo the done,
maybe then i would see the clear picture.
if the choice is mine,
which it is...
I'd choose to leave,
since i choose you!

Pretence is an art,
and i refuse to learn it.
since i choose you,
i choose to leave.

Being with you,
i can't be...the old me!!
things have changed,the end is here.
i'll never be...the old me!

"ODE TO THE INDIAN RAILWAYS"

2008-01-06T13:57:00.000-08:00

Sudden breaks,
which wake the asleep,
cockroaches by the dozen,
promising you...
of a tough night ahead!!
My quilt smells,
like something has been living in it previously!
the pillow promotes,
some sort of hair oil.
The curtains add luxury,
to my misery!!
the man sleeping in front of me...
can wake the dead city of Mohenjodaro!!
I look out of the window,
the giant crack doesn't help much.
The floor is clean...
and clean are the rest rooms,
now there is a true surprise!!

"MAN WAS A BOY"

2008-01-06T13:45:00.000-08:00

Once i knew a happy man,
his happiness was his biggest curse.
he had a book of memories,
with many pages still unwritten...
things unsaid,unplanned.
man was a boy,deep inside...
like all of them are!
close your eyes
in order to see,
beyond what's visible.
pride...love...sex...chasing cars,
its the same "ball"game!
man was a boy,deep inside...
and he never grew up!!

"FIREFLIES"

2007-10-22T12:06:00.001-07:00

Flickering around like
deemed ideas
standing still...broken.
Breathing light...
on a bedspread of colours,
up on the faith hill,
in the big sky,
with every tingling feeling
fireflies...take my wish,
my burning dreams
and give them meaning!
A slow and steady rush
marks your presence,
demanding attention.
Pave the path,
the way you want,
gothic or gospel.
fireflies...take my wish
and my burning dreams
be strong,cest la vie!

"CRASH INTO ME"

2007-10-22T11:33:00.000-07:00

Its been amazing,
these past few days.
walking on sunshine,
being happy and;
for a change
not feeling guilty about it,
its usually hard to hold on.
My heart and head
speak in languages alian to me.
I have eloped with my deams,
reality,just too "dry"
"dry" for its own good
each moment of this...
glorious day passes me by,
whispering sweet nothings,
in my ears and head.
The wind blows through
my hair,reassuring me
of my beauty!!
the way its never done before,
this wind...plays naughtouriously
with my memories
and throwing flashbacks at me...
crash into me....
come into me...and in a vague momentum
setting me free.
Setting me free from "suppose to be"
words i detest the most!
i'm a special person
so why should someone else be like me?
my ideas crash into me....
my thoughts crash into me....
my values crash into me....
my loved ones crash into me...
i crash into time,
and my past questions me.
I must be demented to be delighted,
in a situation like such!
this freedom i have newly gained,
doesn't compromise my dignity.
I like it here!
I like "this"
crashed into me or not...
someday it will...
like everything else did and does!!

"TO YOU I BELONG"

2007-10-22T11:19:00.000-07:00

I opened my eyes to her
was feeling rather queasy
she came and looked at me
smiled and said "wow"
she ended up being the closest in a row.
She went away,
but came back for me.
a little talcome
that was always welcome!
she was really nice,
gave me her stuff,
i on the other hand
put it in my mouth.
Babbling idiot that i was...
perfection as i knew it,
and always will,
my ena...to you i belong!!

"I FEEL LIKE AN INSIGNIFICANT SPECK"

2007-10-22T10:32:00.000-07:00

Sitting here on the banks
of ivory colured waters
i can feel everything
yet feel so numb.
these waves come and go as though,
taunting me and my size
against its own
i choose to ignore...
i wish i could
but it doesn't let me!
i feel like an insignificant speck.
the voice inside me tells me things...
and so does this sea!
amalgamation of thoughts
speaking volumes of silence
i'll find my way...i guess.
i'll shout back someday
irony is that,that i know
its never going to change
this sea will always be bigger than me
but maybe just maybe someday when i know my worth
i wont feel as insignificant as i do now!

"I SIT,I WATCH...MEMOIRS OF A TELEVISION"

2007-10-22T09:39:00.000-07:00

Everyday i stay here
pretty much from the first time i was brought
haven't moved an inch in years.
i've had a good life
somedays i work hard and long
and somedays nobody bothers to switch me on.
i sit,i watch!!
The little girl plays with my keys
puts it in her mouth and drulls
i see her take baby steps towards me
then with all her little might
delt me a soft blow.....
she looks at me in antisipation,waiting patiently.
i sit,i watch!!
The father takes control...
god i hate him!
just doesnt seem to give it a rest
surfing through most of my alternatives
he's the mighty lord of the pests!
i sit,i watch!!
The mother is sweet
or so she seems
watch's commercial of soaps and creams
cries and laughs at the same time...
and calls me "the idiot box"
i sit,i watch!!
Though all my fondness is for the lady
who visits me every morning
she doesnt want anything from me
but cleans me like..i'm her own!
i sit,i watch!!
Years have passed since....
feelings have changed
if you dont grow you die.
my life's "full stop"
seems to have arrived!
i sit,i watch!!
In a matter of time
i shall say...
i sat,i watched!!

"A LITTLE LOVE STORY"

2007-09-10T07:01:00.000-07:00

so they sit together in class,
exchange notes and shots.
full in uniform,
and high on charm.
he loves her...she loves him too,
but maybe....just maybe
she's too stupid to admit it!
the curse of the situation and
a little lovestory!!
however everybody
considered it forbidden
like they cared!
the boy dipped in vodka and gin
while the girl's in pretty pink...
a little lovestory
considered forbidden...
had no beggining and no end
was a distraction of a sort
but had it own charm...
the little lovestory!!

THERE IS A REASON....

2007-09-09T15:47:00.000-07:00

There is a reason,
why sex rhymes with ex,
there is a reason,
why there is a silver line
after every dark cloud.
there is a reason,
why metabolism is such a bitch.
there is a reason,
why certain smells do the things they do to you.
there is a reason,
why fear is the key factor...
behind love.
there is a reason,
why you missed a flight.
there is a reason,
why "fat" is special,
its just a different way of life.
there is a reason,
why a child was born.
there is a reason,
for everything...
you just need to find yours!!

"BATTLEFIELD"

2007-09-09T15:31:00.000-07:00

I've become so use to it,
its been a habit,
but now i'm ready to give up,
my shield and my sword,
the battlefield!
My war is long and endless,
i will willingly give myself,
but now i'm tired,
human i am afterall,
the battlefield!
My anatomy doesnt permit me,
forever doesnt exist!
only time will tell,
if there is a break...to this vicious spell,
the battlefield!
All things new and nice,
shall be old and worn,
dear god,come take a walk with me....
see what miseries are like,
listen to all the stories told,
the battlefield!
I'm a warrior,a spartan,
here on my own trojan war,
fighting time and wrong,
evil is always followed by good,
the battlefield!
someday i shall parish and leave victoriously...
but never will my search end,
never will i give it a rest!!

"REDEMPTION"

2007-08-19T11:36:00.000-07:00

The small have proclaimed the big,
my abuses have turned into a major gig,
all that was lame,
has suddenly become known and famous,
THIS IS MY REDEMPTION!!
The time of struggle has passed,
now is when i enjoy,
my sweet revenge...
Every wasted emotion,
seems to have paid off!
Mayebe it wasn't such a bad thing afterall.
THIS IS MY REDEMPTION!!
But like all good/bad things,
this too shall pass...
and i shall get back
to my old neutral self.
Time waits for nobody,
what's so special about me?
Maybe...i'm just not use to it,
yet i know..time will heal it all,
time will always tell.
THIS IS MY REDEMPTION!!
and i've waited long,
just when i was tired,
ready to give up,
kneeling down on my surrender...
it snapped..fortunately for me.
THIS IS MY REDEMPTION!!
and "I" "DESERVE" every bit of it.
i've finally broken free,
i found a new set of wings.
i will always stay...
like it or not..i always will.
its a long,bumpy ride ahead,
the fun's just getting started,
my patience has paid off!!
THIS IS MY REDEMPTION!!

"?"

2007-08-12T20:02:00.000-07:00

Are these just words?
Do they actually mean something?
the whirlpool of time,
is sucking me in,
and there's nobody to rescue me...
Do i need rescue?
sometimes i feel like
i'm stuck in quicksand,
the more i riggle,
the deeper i sink!
complications,which are unnecessary,
have taken centre stage,
and knotted my life,
so tight this time...
there's nobody to unknot me....
Do i need rescue?
i feel the constriction,
bonds and chains,
which i've compelled on myself!
everything i've ever known,
seems to have deserted me,
common sense suddenly not very common!
My conscience seems abandoned,
certain questions desreve answers...
there's nobody to answer them for me....
Do i need rescue?
Life is a mess,
maybe i do....maybe i dont!!
chess is a complicated game..
no wonder i never enjoyed it!
life is feeling kinda strange...strange enough these days!

"BLUE JEANS"

2007-08-12T19:55:00.000-07:00

They are not just pants,
they are an investment,
bound to be with you,
in your rage against time,
just like you,
fading and ripping,
still holding on.
They are not just pants,
its a bond,
a lifetime commitment!!

"I LIVE IN DENIAL"

2007-07-26T12:24:00.000-07:00

Forget about the future,
dont worry about the past,
all i have is now,
that's what matters.
THIS MOMENT...LET ME LIVE!
i live in denial,
i see what's right in front of me,
listen to the clouds...
they assure me that its madness!!
the moon reflecting all that's sane,
i live in denial,
so close...i can reach out and grab,
yet so far in reality,
i'd like to declare.....
my wishlist...with you topping it all,
these are mere words,
life's ironic,
you know...i love you so,
and all the things you do.
my not so perfect life,
as though struck by...a revolting jolt of love!
passion,time and valentines were
words written in grey,
i was never too sure,
i live in denial!
this seems like a dream,
with everything perfect....
dont wake me up just yet,
THIS MOMENT...LET ME LIVE!
let me live my dream,
the one man i love,
he perfects the not so perfect me!
i live in denial....let me live!

"Tonight...i walk"

2007-07-22T03:54:00.001-07:00

Tonight...i walk,
holding a glass of wine,
i have no one to talk to,
alone i sit and dine,
with giant walls that mock!

Tonight....i walk,
through the corridors of my past,
i have no regrets,
i sail with big masts,
of hope and dreams set!

Tonight....i walk,
to lands unknown,
i shall travel far,
destiny,to which i am prone,
reality to me is a constant war!

Tonight... i walk,
with no one to fall back on,
this fall isn't protected,
all i had,seems to be gone,
guess,wrong i detected!

Tonight...i walk,
to think and analyze,
baby steps i take,challenging time,
i shall slot and categorize,
going deep into my mind mine!

Tonight...i walk,
to dreams unexplored,
comfortable in my air bubble,
technically i descend lower,
an unfamiliar language i babble!

Tonight.....i walk,
never to turn back,
stocked with love and passion,
i got nothing to pack,
all i have is a big mission!

Tonight.....i walk,
to celebrate my new wings,
my journey's long,
aware of the troubles it brings,
I'll dance to my own song!

Tonight.....i walk,
i see the woman in me,
tortured adolescence seized,
she runs wise and free,
my soul is touched and pleased!

Tonight...i walk,
with a happy heart,
and i smile,
I've finally mastered the art,
no longer i remain juvenile!!

'the banger sisters"

2007-07-18T06:48:00.000-07:00

Free is all you've got to be!!
visions of paradise,
chilled beer and fish well fried,
the mild essense of wild flowers,
wetness of the ocean in the air,
damp sand underneath our feet,
we dont need to go anywhere from here,
this is home.
the smell of burning coal and fish,
the face of our shack smiling in the candlelight!
in the middle of nowhere,
yet a sense if belonging...being.
"so we finally made it!"
our dreams,our stories...fish and beer,
bla...bla..bla...
"we are the banger sisters,
we're live and kicking!!"
a new day has come,
and so has the fresh catch....
we see...pause...turn...
"NICE!!for a change he is tall!"
we fall off our hammocks....laughing,
swearing at each other.
"we're the banger sisters,
and we're here to stay,
beer...fried fish and all!"
HAPPY EVER AFTER....ONCE UPON THESE DAYS!!

Once there was a girl....

2007-07-05T03:01:00.000-07:00

Once there was a girl,who heard the birds sing in the middle of traffic jams and watch trees dance late into the blue night!she lived life on her own terms and that was officially the only rule she ever followed.
One day as she walked walked home through the traffic jams and the hustlebustle of the city she realized that the street she took everyday to save time as it was shorter was overflowing with dirty drainage water.since she did not want her precious kolapuri's to get damaged she decided to take the longer lonlier road.
The road was lovely,dark and deep.she was pretty much letting it all sink...considering it all new experience,when she heard the sound of an electric guitar.she forced herself to walk further but couldn't help following the sound.she entered the compound trying her level best to not make any noise,but as clumsy as she was she somehow managed to tip over a jar of whisky.she could hardly see in the darkness and what she din't know was that she was being watched since what felt like forever.
She was poking her nose around to see when the door swung open and she knew it was too late to turn back!as she entered the door she saw her life pass by in snapshots.the further she went in the louder the music got.now she stood in the doorway of a narrow hall and had no choice but to walk in,which she knew she would.
As she walked in,she smelled something which reminded her of a boys locker room..filthy and disgusting.she went closer only to see a a dog with a collar saying "spot" on it.her breath almost stopped and her heart took a giant leap....she knew someone was standing behind her.she turned around to see...a man,a big man,with long hair tucked behind his ear,in leather pants and a green jacket.he walked up to her and she froze!!
The silence was shattering...finally with swift movement he came closer and she could smell food!in a sweet voice asked her...
"do your feet stink?"
"what?!!"
"do your feet stink?"he asked again,
"no i wear kolapuri's!"she said,
"oh!do you know someplace where i could find my size?"
"i think so...depends on how big your feet are!"
"big enough" he said,
"well you know what they say about men who have big feet?"she smirked,
"no what?"he says,*evil grin*
"they can never find shoes that fit them"
They laughed and both knew very deep inside almost at the pit of their tummy's this was bound to happen....destiny.that's when the record moved and played "nothing else matters" and for some vague reason they both knew nothing else did matter!!

MORAL:Take a chance..

Life's a full circle...

2007-07-02T16:13:00.000-07:00

"Misery likes company",
i like the way that sounds,
life's a full circle,
what goes up must come down,
he wants it,but he doesn't.
oh!for god's sake stop going in rounds!
out of reach,
keeping busy everyday,
so confused my heart's screwed,
i never really loved you anyways...
i'm not angry,just surprised,
two eyes..a dream..and a story,
little bit of cloud,a little bit of rain,
should i..should i not?
i listen to "cool jazz"
feeling kinda blue,
it suddenly hits me...i fell in love too soon...
i'd like to blame it on the weatherman,
but i blame it on myself!
i stand here all alone,
talking about a revolution..a change,
missing you in every heartbeat,
i see you,
in one of the grains of sand,
which gets blown around the world,
it settles nowhere,but here with me,
i need to get out of the dungeons of my past,
i need to run free...
life's a full circle,
what goes up must come down!!

i beg your pardon..Mr.Right??

2007-06-29T14:34:00.000-07:00

Perception is what you percieve of a notion.like the famous saying goes.."a thing of beauty is a joy forever!"we ladies are not only beautiful but also a gorgeous creations of god.since we talking about "perceptions" today lets talk about Mr.Right,ya ya the guy your mum and mine have told us about.there seems to be a right time for everything and a Mr.Right for every girl.but,in majority of the cases in india,when we eventually end up meeting our respective Mr.Right,little do we know that his first name is "Always".

We read newspapers,magazines...comeon its almost considered a lament to do so.it can be very entertaining if read avidly.it is one perfect form of continious fiction.come to think of it we are called the "weaker sex" and then we are also called "the weapon of mass distruction".why is that nobody seems to be able to make up their minds once and for all?why is that we have to be at the recieving end of most of the comments or even jokes for that matter?

I've often heard "this is a man's world" and us being the "weaker sex" and all that jazz have to compramise.where does the problem really lie?with us women...the answeris right here and is staring into our faces.we women are always compramising so the men live the way they always have and make no amendments what so ever...in their lives while our lives remain nothing like it use to be.

Why are we always made fun of?

Its pretty simlpe...we let them do it..we let them take us for granted!!

Men:whose minds are like the welsh railways-one track and dirty!!!

I'd like to conclude now....

a little word of advice for all those fantastic ladies who've just been uplifted and think..feel better about themselves..................

"Look wise,say nothing,and grunt.Speech was given to conceal our thought."

SHE SAYS....

2007-06-29T14:12:00.000-07:00

"i need to get this done at once"she says,
"its bothered me far too long"
sitting amidst a pile of dirty clothes,
seperating the right from the wrong.

"i like the sounds of night"she says,
clearly helps her think,
loves to be asked questions by stranger,
"do your feet stink?"

as she walks into the world,
i see her make a difference,
touch people's lives,she say,
"i like the taste of detergent!!"

expect utter nonsense coming
when she charges like an angry bull,
opens her mouth,she says,
"damn i'm outta wool"

' "look at the stars,look how they shine for you"' she says,
and i sing along,i watch her carefully,
playing with her hair,stops suddenly,she says,
"i want to fart"very gracefully!

she's my angel undercover,
"ya right"she says,
i keep my mouth shut,
listen to her ranting and raving about the size of her "butt"

i see her with children,
and see the biggest one of them all,
tried tellin her this,she says
"woman!you have some gall"

well that's her,
"its me"she say.....