I have been living in this city for a long time now. Though I have been in and out of it lately. What do you do when the people who are meant to protect you are the ones you're trying to save yourself from? I'm an adult,capable and healthy woman. Aware of the power I have and must better acquainted with my short comings. Need I be reminded every now and then by these vultures of society that I am the "Second Sex"? Of coarse, not. Being harassed by the cops on the roads,who are invariably intoxicated is not my idea of protection.I'm am the 21st century woman, and no I'm not apologetic about it. Why is it that our law,which is actually meant to "protect" us is proactively trying to push us back into the "saas bhi kabhi bahu thi" dynasty?
Who decides my late nights?who decides what I should wear? Who decides how i sit in the car? Who decides who I decide to do all the above with? Is it so difficult to practice my rights as a woman in this country. A country,the last time I checked was a free one. My clothes are my way of expressing myself,hence self expression...who put such a high price at being typical? I'm not going to succumb to the humiliation every single time I'm out late in the night. I thought I belonged to a society where women were given the utmost respect,after what i witnessed...i really don't think so.
Last night I was returning from a dinner with a friend in his car. It was then when we were stopped by two cops in the midst Koramangla 1st block road. The cops spoke to us like we were criminals and asked my friend to show his id cards and car papers. To us it was a regular check so, we willfully obliged. It was alright till one of the cops said, in Kannada that he could smell semen. I was taken a back when i first heard it,but then I dismissed all notions of him saying so. Then he said it again,and this time my friend who was being humble all this while heard it as well. He turned around and asked a little aggressively to the cop to repeat himself. But, the cops kept quite. After asking my friend all sort of details about him and me,he let us go.
Was it justified, am i being questioned about my ability to take care of myself? Is it fair to look at a girl like she is cheap trash since she is with boy at a particularly late time of the night. Is my dignity at stake here? Why do I have to compromise on my life just because some cops are out there to have a good time and make an extra buck or two. I can not be held responsible if these vultures of law are out there...or so it seems. Which direction do I turn to as the "weaker sex" for help? Why is it that its taken for grated that if I am with a guy late in the night,its has to be for sex? could I not be somewhere else,coming late from work,getting back from hospital,any other reason!!Late night with a single girl and boy does not equate to sex. This concept is not so alien to understand after all now is it!
Are we being targeted here? As if fighting all the odds, hasn't been enough, now we have this to deal with! I appreciate the "concern" Indian government has for us, but this has got to stop somewhere. Why are we being made a victim of moral policing? Are we not capable enough to take care of such things ourselves. Have we become slaves to typo's or is the system simply insulting our intelligence? Is this kind of underestimation right on their part?
I'm appalled...its time we do something about this!!
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Sunday, October 11, 2009
"A CAUTIOUS LOVE STORY"
We were best friends,or so we thought,
stating facts out loud,
less to anybody, more to ourselves.
We were convinced, its never going to work.
Telling each other, its a phase.
it was a cautious love story.
Without colouring me in his colours,
without getting coloured in mine.
We drowned into each other.
Lets not do this...we said said, it was
a cautious love story.
'You' stay you, 'I' stay me
and 'we' stay 'us'
but, lets all three walk together
to journeys far & beyond,
a cautious love story.
You are the voice of my silence
i am the words that fall from you
this is a secret of ours
lets just explore you and me
a cautious love story.
A tear that leaves yours eyes,
drops out of mine,
every happiness small or big
its been you, me & us!
a cautious love story.
Lets live like this...
with our inconveniant truth
feeling scared and helpless,
but,our facts intact.
Our cautious love story...
a regret for a life time.
stating facts out loud,
less to anybody, more to ourselves.
We were convinced, its never going to work.
Telling each other, its a phase.
it was a cautious love story.
Without colouring me in his colours,
without getting coloured in mine.
We drowned into each other.
Lets not do this...we said said, it was
a cautious love story.
'You' stay you, 'I' stay me
and 'we' stay 'us'
but, lets all three walk together
to journeys far & beyond,
a cautious love story.
You are the voice of my silence
i am the words that fall from you
this is a secret of ours
lets just explore you and me
a cautious love story.
A tear that leaves yours eyes,
drops out of mine,
every happiness small or big
its been you, me & us!
a cautious love story.
Lets live like this...
with our inconveniant truth
feeling scared and helpless,
but,our facts intact.
Our cautious love story...
a regret for a life time.
Friday, July 31, 2009
"Confessions Of A Hyperactive Commitment Phobic!!"
The thing with love is that it’s a rather stupid thing. We invariably fool ourselves into believing that we can be the exception and not the rule. I’ve been single for so long that I think I’ll need therapy just to get over the guilt. Waiting for the right one to walk up to me someday. Well I’m 22, single and no the right one hasn’t evidently walked past me. I have, however had many false alarms.
The really funny thing about it is that I’m a woman and women are suppose to have good instincts…well maybe not all women. I qualify as an exception. My instincts are such that every time I feel strongly about something or somebody, it turns around and bites me in the butt. Hence, I have decided that the next time I feel strongly about a guy and my gut feels evermore, I will turn around and run 100 miles in the opposite direction.
I deserve to be happy, I think. I’m not all that a bad person, really. Then why is it that if I see or meet a healthy, good looking, straight, intelligent man I want to curl up and die? I want to be swallowed by mother earth or struck by lightening. Not like all guys I meet hit on me or anything but just the general concept that men today follow-
SINGLE = AVAILABLE = SEX
I mean get real! It is after all a human need and women need it more than men do. You see, for women its all about unadulterated pleasure but for men, its more about spilling their “beans” etc. it is true that men spend more time fantasizing about it and woman just want to get over with it.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to be with a man for good. The thought of sharing my space with a man seems rather terrifying for some strange reason.
Seems like my Love Santa keeps getting stuck in the chimney all the time. As if that wasn’t problematic enough I’m an old school romance kinda girl. I want it all, the whole nine yards. I’m yet to meet a man who thinks that way as well. I don’t want to share bedrooms with the guy, I don’t want to share my dark chocolate truffle either. I don’t mind snuggling up and watching tv as long as the fight for the remote is not a constant war.
Simple girls have simple wants…I’ve got simpler ones…
1. A man who can spot China on the map.
2. Can spell amalgamation.
3. Knows who John Keats or Russell Peters is and is well aware of the difference.
4. Can sing a line or two from a Dean Martin or Frank Sinatra.
Well these are just a few to start with. But, they are important ones. I think. One thing however would be mandatory… he has to love the beach and traveling. See now that’s a lethal combination hence, almost impossible to find and therefore doesn’t exist. Probably, also the reason behind me being 22 and single.
My feelings are like a bowl of fish hooks, if I pull out one all of them come out at the same time. It could be the reason why I am a commitment phobic. It’s difficult to be wit a man who is trustworthy. Its like you give a man a free hand and he runs it all over you.
HORMONES ARE STUPID YET VERY POWERFUL THINGS, WE’RE HELPLESS IN THEIR AWAKE!!
The really funny thing about it is that I’m a woman and women are suppose to have good instincts…well maybe not all women. I qualify as an exception. My instincts are such that every time I feel strongly about something or somebody, it turns around and bites me in the butt. Hence, I have decided that the next time I feel strongly about a guy and my gut feels evermore, I will turn around and run 100 miles in the opposite direction.
I deserve to be happy, I think. I’m not all that a bad person, really. Then why is it that if I see or meet a healthy, good looking, straight, intelligent man I want to curl up and die? I want to be swallowed by mother earth or struck by lightening. Not like all guys I meet hit on me or anything but just the general concept that men today follow-
SINGLE = AVAILABLE = SEX
I mean get real! It is after all a human need and women need it more than men do. You see, for women its all about unadulterated pleasure but for men, its more about spilling their “beans” etc. it is true that men spend more time fantasizing about it and woman just want to get over with it.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to be with a man for good. The thought of sharing my space with a man seems rather terrifying for some strange reason.
Seems like my Love Santa keeps getting stuck in the chimney all the time. As if that wasn’t problematic enough I’m an old school romance kinda girl. I want it all, the whole nine yards. I’m yet to meet a man who thinks that way as well. I don’t want to share bedrooms with the guy, I don’t want to share my dark chocolate truffle either. I don’t mind snuggling up and watching tv as long as the fight for the remote is not a constant war.
Simple girls have simple wants…I’ve got simpler ones…
1. A man who can spot China on the map.
2. Can spell amalgamation.
3. Knows who John Keats or Russell Peters is and is well aware of the difference.
4. Can sing a line or two from a Dean Martin or Frank Sinatra.
Well these are just a few to start with. But, they are important ones. I think. One thing however would be mandatory… he has to love the beach and traveling. See now that’s a lethal combination hence, almost impossible to find and therefore doesn’t exist. Probably, also the reason behind me being 22 and single.
My feelings are like a bowl of fish hooks, if I pull out one all of them come out at the same time. It could be the reason why I am a commitment phobic. It’s difficult to be wit a man who is trustworthy. Its like you give a man a free hand and he runs it all over you.
HORMONES ARE STUPID YET VERY POWERFUL THINGS, WE’RE HELPLESS IN THEIR AWAKE!!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
"Man On The Hospital Window"
I got introduced to her today. I knew she was there in some strange corner of the world, waiting in anticipation for me to arrive. When I walked into the hospital earlier today. I knew I'd see her. Something told me, she wasn't very far away.
The butterflies in my stomach which I thought were long gone reappeared from nowhere, as if to remind me of my anticipation of what was to come. The elevator ride like the stairway to heaven. I was there, I was ready. But, I wondered while I waited to see that nice man, what was taking so long? That nice man who I'd learnt to like from the past few visits.
Walking into the man's office dint feel the same and that's what gave it away. I knew he had news for me from his tone on the telephone call early this morning. I knew she had finally arrived for me. I could hardly wait for the good new to anymore but, the doctor seemed to have an agenda of his own. I had waited so long now I thought a few, more minutes won’t hurt, would it?
So, there I was in the hospital clothes, with rear end on view, yet ready as a man could ever be to hear the words drop out of his mouth. The suspense was getting fierce, the tension was building and then, just like that, there she was. All these years, I had planned, plotted and thought over all the intelligent things I wanted to say to her when we first met. Here, she was and I had nothing to say but smile emptily but, fulfilled.
The moment had passed for me to say and for her to hear. I had retired to my new residence now. Small and precise, even boring to some but, for me it was rendezvous point. We were here and she finally spoke...
"Where were you? I've been waiting so long?"
She looked so hopeful and demanding. I knew she wanted answers and today she was going to get them.
"I left you many hints!" she said.
Oh! If only she knew how those subtle hints led me to her, if only she knew, what it felt like to finally be with her, to be able to embrace her and live till death do us part. She was my companion, I knew, the one I had asked for forever.
So I wrote to her…
"Dear Cancer,
For all those times when I knew that you were waiting with arms wide open, for all those times when I knew, you wouldn't have sympathy but genuine love for me, for all those times where you stood by me. I thank you with all my heart. I want you to know that I picked up all the subtle hints that left me, because I knew you weren't far behind. I'm sorry for taking this long. But, now that I'm here with you, I feel complete.
Thank you for taking me on journeys far and beyond. Thank you for trying to make it as painless as you possibly could. I know deep in my heart you tried.
You are and will always be my cherished one.
With all my love,
Man on the hospital window."
P:s- i write this for you...dear friend...you know who you are,thanks for pushing me into the one best thing i know how to do...
The butterflies in my stomach which I thought were long gone reappeared from nowhere, as if to remind me of my anticipation of what was to come. The elevator ride like the stairway to heaven. I was there, I was ready. But, I wondered while I waited to see that nice man, what was taking so long? That nice man who I'd learnt to like from the past few visits.
Walking into the man's office dint feel the same and that's what gave it away. I knew he had news for me from his tone on the telephone call early this morning. I knew she had finally arrived for me. I could hardly wait for the good new to anymore but, the doctor seemed to have an agenda of his own. I had waited so long now I thought a few, more minutes won’t hurt, would it?
So, there I was in the hospital clothes, with rear end on view, yet ready as a man could ever be to hear the words drop out of his mouth. The suspense was getting fierce, the tension was building and then, just like that, there she was. All these years, I had planned, plotted and thought over all the intelligent things I wanted to say to her when we first met. Here, she was and I had nothing to say but smile emptily but, fulfilled.
The moment had passed for me to say and for her to hear. I had retired to my new residence now. Small and precise, even boring to some but, for me it was rendezvous point. We were here and she finally spoke...
"Where were you? I've been waiting so long?"
She looked so hopeful and demanding. I knew she wanted answers and today she was going to get them.
"I left you many hints!" she said.
Oh! If only she knew how those subtle hints led me to her, if only she knew, what it felt like to finally be with her, to be able to embrace her and live till death do us part. She was my companion, I knew, the one I had asked for forever.
So I wrote to her…
"Dear Cancer,
For all those times when I knew that you were waiting with arms wide open, for all those times when I knew, you wouldn't have sympathy but genuine love for me, for all those times where you stood by me. I thank you with all my heart. I want you to know that I picked up all the subtle hints that left me, because I knew you weren't far behind. I'm sorry for taking this long. But, now that I'm here with you, I feel complete.
Thank you for taking me on journeys far and beyond. Thank you for trying to make it as painless as you possibly could. I know deep in my heart you tried.
You are and will always be my cherished one.
With all my love,
Man on the hospital window."
P:s- i write this for you...dear friend...you know who you are,thanks for pushing me into the one best thing i know how to do...
Thursday, October 30, 2008
"The World Is My Oyster"
The world is your oyster…the difference of perception is a joyous thing…life can be beautiful if that’s what you want from it. The choice is always yours. You either make it or break it. But, the decision is entirely yours to take. What help’s is stepping out of character…looking at yourself from a different point of view. Here you suddenly realize that life isn’t what you thought it would be. Maybe it turned out a lot better than what you had planned or imagined or maybe it tuned out to be a complete wreck. The beauty of it is that you need to make those decisions and never regret and learn to move on. Life isn’t as harsh or hard as we make it but it can be more fun if we just stick to the choice we made initially.
It’s even easier to blame someone else for your mistakes, it’s never your fault but the pedestrian just crossed the road without being cautious and crossed a six lane road and banged into your car….its never your fault. If you want to look at things from this angle then your more then welcome to do so but the point is that you’ve allowed it to happen, and since life isn’t as kind to us the lesser mortals we need to make better and wiser choices. Opportunity doesn’t knock your door once….it knocks till you are ready to get off your butt and open it. But if you choose to open it and ask it to leave then it is entirely your decision to make. There are always three ways to do something….
1: doing the right thing. The thing everybody else has done has been doing and will always do since it is the right thing to do. I personally feel that these are the kinds who are the boring ones. Who in spite of getting ample opportunity refuse to use their full potential just because they do the right thing? That everybody has always done.
2: doing the wrong thing. The things that nobody will ever do since it is the worst possible alternative to problem but there are a few less blessed people like me who go ahead and take this measure hoping that things are going to be different only because…you are the person in question. Then realization beckons and you realize life isn’t all about ha ha he he… however, sometimes this one thing blowing into your face is the best thing to happen since you know exactly what not to do the next time. That’s just being very positive about it.
3: doing the things that no one has done so far. Making the best of what you have and using it to its full advantage. This is officially my way of dealing with things…or at least try doing it this way…it’s the way you want to do things!! Right or wrong is irrespective here, as long as you understand what the best thing to do and do it. Why bother about what people might say, they’re people and they always say…whether you like it or not so is it worth it to waste time and effort on such wrecks?
Find your joy in everything you do…make peace with yourself! You’ll suddenly realize life’s isn’t a bitch at all….
It’s even easier to blame someone else for your mistakes, it’s never your fault but the pedestrian just crossed the road without being cautious and crossed a six lane road and banged into your car….its never your fault. If you want to look at things from this angle then your more then welcome to do so but the point is that you’ve allowed it to happen, and since life isn’t as kind to us the lesser mortals we need to make better and wiser choices. Opportunity doesn’t knock your door once….it knocks till you are ready to get off your butt and open it. But if you choose to open it and ask it to leave then it is entirely your decision to make. There are always three ways to do something….
1: doing the right thing. The thing everybody else has done has been doing and will always do since it is the right thing to do. I personally feel that these are the kinds who are the boring ones. Who in spite of getting ample opportunity refuse to use their full potential just because they do the right thing? That everybody has always done.
2: doing the wrong thing. The things that nobody will ever do since it is the worst possible alternative to problem but there are a few less blessed people like me who go ahead and take this measure hoping that things are going to be different only because…you are the person in question. Then realization beckons and you realize life isn’t all about ha ha he he… however, sometimes this one thing blowing into your face is the best thing to happen since you know exactly what not to do the next time. That’s just being very positive about it.
3: doing the things that no one has done so far. Making the best of what you have and using it to its full advantage. This is officially my way of dealing with things…or at least try doing it this way…it’s the way you want to do things!! Right or wrong is irrespective here, as long as you understand what the best thing to do and do it. Why bother about what people might say, they’re people and they always say…whether you like it or not so is it worth it to waste time and effort on such wrecks?
Find your joy in everything you do…make peace with yourself! You’ll suddenly realize life’s isn’t a bitch at all….
Monday, September 1, 2008
'THERE ARE DAYS!!"
There are days,
when getting out of bed,
is the biggest challenge I face!!
There are days,
when I sit among...
A massive pile of clothes,
wondering why do I have so many clothes?
There are days,
when open my eyes,
to a big fat golden dog,
fast asleep on my bed!!!
There are days,
when I listen to one song,
on toggle repeat,
the entire night!!!!
There are days,
I wake up angry,
with the world for no reason!!
There are days when,
I wait for somebody,
to call and make me a part of their life!!
There are days,
when I walk into home,
and feel like I know,
nobody!!!
there are days,
I can't explain...
there are days,
that bestow a new epiphany...
guess what...
they are after all just days...
some good,
some bad,
some pathetic...some fantastic...
try explaining them to yourself...
you'll have your own epiphany!!
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
"TIME! WHERE DID YOU GO?"
Lollipop and chocolate candy stuck in my teeth
dancing and the skipping rope keep me on my feet
cycle races down empty roads
falling in gutters and dirtying nice clothes.
Grow up grow up,leave those childish things behind
its time to grow the spirit,soul and mind
grow up grow,tomorrow's another day
you know your adult is here to stay.
Stars still twinkle,water fights are fun
my heart still soars in the warm summer sun
i still want to play house and drink pretend tea
and maybe prince charming will marry me.
Hearty laugh and desperate tears come and go
as do clothes,shoes and tv shows
miracles and thunderstorm do fascinate
its a perpetual childhood state.
Feeling all alone and holding hands
falling down and waking up
from a dream gone bad
on a cloudy day
your adult is here to stay.
dancing and the skipping rope keep me on my feet
cycle races down empty roads
falling in gutters and dirtying nice clothes.
Grow up grow up,leave those childish things behind
its time to grow the spirit,soul and mind
grow up grow,tomorrow's another day
you know your adult is here to stay.
Stars still twinkle,water fights are fun
my heart still soars in the warm summer sun
i still want to play house and drink pretend tea
and maybe prince charming will marry me.
Hearty laugh and desperate tears come and go
as do clothes,shoes and tv shows
miracles and thunderstorm do fascinate
its a perpetual childhood state.
Feeling all alone and holding hands
falling down and waking up
from a dream gone bad
on a cloudy day
your adult is here to stay.
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